Roller Derby Bout Ornament Raffle Ticket

Handmade by Matt Long

Sure, not all gays are jocks—but all sports are gay (so! much! touching!). Roller derby, a niche sport most people only know from an Elliot Page movie, is no exception. Dashing around the track are, god willing, ten almost-certainly-queer athletes shouting things like “take the top” and “be a butt” while executing flawless offensive strategies. Their jerseys display pronouns and chosen names—monikers often deemed too “inappropriate” for ESPN to air without censorship. (See: Bicepsual.)

But these skaters don’t need their athletic excellence to be recognized by the straight man’s mainstream media. They’re in it for the freedom you feel on eight wheels —and the joy of hitting your friends.

• Handmade by Matt Long
• One of a kind
• Approx. 4 inches wide x 4 inches tall x 4 inches deep
• Hook height: 2 inches
• Materials: Repurposed 1988 Hallmark Magic Ornament, model figures, acrylic
• Special feature: This ornament can be plugged into an incandescent light string to activate movement

• Story by Loren Ward

• All proceeds from raffle tickets will be donated to The Ali Forney Center, whose mission is to protect homeless Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning youth from the harms of homelessness and empower them with the tools needed to be independent.

Here’s how the raffle works:

– Raffle tickets for each ornament are available in our store until the second week of December 2025. Each ticket costs $10.

– You can fill your cart with as many raffle tickets as you like for each ornament. There will be a separate drawing for each ornament.

– After all tickets are drawn at The InQueery HQ, a list of all the winners will be announced via email to everyone who entered. If you’re a winner, we’ll be in touch regarding shipping information.