Case 013: Pokgaymon Exclusivefiled November 13, 2019
Illusgaytions by Hannah Choi
Renders by Cat Hong
It’s been a tumultuous year for queer Pokémon fans. In May, the LGBTQ RPG community was on the brink of rioting after the release of Detective Pikachu, the producers of which, in a spate of hetero-terrorism, voice-cast Ryan Reynolds as the titular electric mouse. To return to the good graces of gaymers, producers have announced a new crop of queer-appealing monsters for the new games from Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield dropping November 15 for the Nintendo Switch. Different stripes of the rainbow can get down with these beasts: along with candy-colored equine fantasy Galarian Ponyta, there’s Polteageist, a purple ectoplasm literally spilling out of a cracked kettle.
But to support gay fans who don’t feel seen by these on-the-nose yet not-fully-out characters, The InQueery convinced Screenshot from Pokémon Sword and Screenshot from Pokémon Shield’s developer, Game Freak, to create the universe’s first openly-gay creature, which we are happy to reveal to our readers today.
We are proud to introduce Giggletwinx, a heart-shaped second cousin to Happiny, with move sets like “Love is Love” and “Yas Attack.” As with Ekans’ “Leer” and Magikarp’s “Splash,” the function and effects of these moves are limited, but they lend the character an indelible panache! Giggletwinx will be released as a fairy-type starter alongside Scorbunny, Sobble and Grookey.
“This game is culturally and geographically inspired by the UK, home to Elton John and Oscar Wilde—what better backdrop to finally release a queer Pokémon?” said Game Freak’s partnership liaison, Yuna Nakamura.
Demos have inspired a broad range of reactions from fans. “I’m living for it!” said TJ Klein, a Department of Defense employee, who plays Nintendo Switch with his boyfriend Brian in their DC condo. “We’re living in the age of gay marriage and Pete and Chasten. Why can’t we have a gay Pokémon, too?”
“I think it looks like boobs or maybe an ass,” said Beth O’Connell, who runs the Minnesota-based lesbian gaymer meetup, Misty’s Crew. “We grew up with Cloyster, Ninetails and Mewtwo. They were sexy. They were stylish. And now we’re supposed to be grateful when you give us this…anus casing?
When exposed to the Rainbow Stone, discovered deep in the dark, sparkling forest known as the Slumbering Weald, Giggletwinx evolves into Dompouf, a leather-clad, winged warrior with thick thighs and a dilettante’s taste for dungeon fetish culture.
“Dompouf was finely-tuned,” said Stuart Maxwell, an analytics researcher at The InQueery, who worked closely with Game Freak on the character designs. Maxwell pointed to Timothée Chalamet’s Golden Globe harness and Nick Jonas’s “general vibe” as influences for the monster’s design.
“It’s uncanny! Dompouf resembles most of the men I’ve dated!” said Lewis Macari, a sales lead at the King of Prussia Armani Exchange store. “I can’t wait to see him in the next movie!”
The final evolution bears Yumduo, a two-headed, perfectly symmetrical flying/fairy-type Pokémon who radiates rainbows and celebrates the inevitable homogeneity of gay and straight cultures. Their two faces will kiss, but only after a hard-fought battle. Yumduo’s giddy nature suggests the shape of things to come for the queer community: compliance, homogeneity, and lots and lots of PRIDE!
The Bottom Line: Getting a queer pokémon is like finding out Dumbledore is gay. It doesn’t really do anything, per se, but it’s nice to know.
Rating: Mila Kunis playing World of Warcraft II